Book Review: I'm Glad My Mom Died

Book Review: I'm Glad My Mom Died by Jennette McCurdy 

Goodreads Description: A heartbreaking and hilarious memoir by iCarly and Sam & Cat star Jennette McCurdy about her struggles as a former child actor—including eating disorders, addiction, and a complicated relationship with her overbearing mother—and how she retook control of her life.

Jennette McCurdy was six years old when she had her first acting audition. Her mother’s dream was for her only daughter to become a star, and Jennette would do anything to make her mother happy. So she went along with what Mom called “calorie restriction,” eating little and weighing herself five times a day. She endured extensive at-home makeovers while Mom chided, “Your eyelashes are invisible, okay? You think Dakota Fanning doesn’t tint hers?” She was even showered by Mom until age sixteen while sharing her diaries, email, and all her income.

In I’m Glad My Mom Died, Jennette recounts all this in unflinching detail—just as she chronicles what happens when the dream finally comes true. Cast in a new Nickelodeon series called iCarly, she is thrust into fame. Though Mom is ecstatic, emailing fan club moderators and getting on a first-name basis with the paparazzi (“Hi Gale!”), Jennette is riddled with anxiety, shame, and self-loathing, which manifest into eating disorders, addiction, and a series of unhealthy relationships. These issues only get worse when, soon after taking the lead in the iCarly spinoff Sam & Cat alongside Ariana Grande, her mother dies of cancer. Finally, after discovering therapy and quitting acting, Jennette embarks on recovery and decides for the first time in her life what she really wants.

My Review: I'm usually not interested in celebrity memoirs, since most celebrities aren't writers and many publishers are unwilling to give their manuscripts the editorial feedback they need. Jennette McCurdy's book is a different story. After hearing snippets of the audiobook online, I was quick to snatch it up. Right from the first page, McCurdy demonstrates a knack for storytelling and a keen eye for scene construction that leaves every chapter feeling poignant.

If you pick up this book hoping for a behind the scenes look at Nickelodeon and McCurdy's time with Dan Schneider, you'll end up disappointed. The book spends very little time discussing her work on set, and almost no time on Schneider himself. McCurdy's intention with this book was to tell the story of her abusive and codependent relationship with her mother, so the book doesn't linger on her career as to not detract from the heart of the story. 

Unlike most memoirs, McCurdy does far more Showing over the course of the text than Telling. She doesn't interrupt the flow of the scene with introspection or tell us what to think about her story, she just lets it play out and allows the reader to draw their own conclusions. It's through this first-hand, novel-like account that McCurdy is able to demonstrate how love and abuse can become to enmeshed. How a mother who loved her daughter so much could cause so much harm. This is exceptionally important because people who have never experienced this type of abuse often cannot fathom how that relationship functions. However, during the final chapter, McCurdy switches gears and inserts her present day reflections as a sort of "conclusion" to clear up anything that may have been misunderstood. McCurdy spends the entire book showing us how her mother has treated her and in the final chapter, names it: "I was abused." 

McCurdy's strategic use of showing and telling, coupled with her masterful characterization, speaks to her incredible talent for storytelling. At first, her writing may appear bland with no flowery language, but this utilitarian writing style allows us to focus on the action of the scene without distraction. Every bit of the story is intentionally placed to communicate how the helplessness and powerlessness from her childhood manifested as shame and anxiety in her adult life. The real power in McCurdy's storytelling comes as she leads us through her recovery after her mother's death. The book takes us through her healing process and demonstrates not only that healing is possible, but what it actually looks like, with all its highs and lows. This representation is exceedingly powerful for people who see themselves in McCurdy's abuse story, but have yet to figure out what their own path to recovery looks like. 

All in all, marvelous, spectacular. This book left me with that tingly, 'wow' feeling that only comes from a powerful story expertly executed. While its messages on abuse, addiction, and recovery are moving, ultimately what sets this book apart is its focus on relationships and how they ultimately shape our lives - for better or for worse. 

TL;DR: 5/5 stars. One celebrity memoir that you don't want to miss.