1) Beat your head against the table and call it writing.
2) Consider joining an opera. Decide you can't sing and join the circus instead.
3) Circus is not as fun as previously advertized. Jump on a trampoline instead and pretend you work for the circus.
4) Charge people to watch you jump on said trampoline.
5) Eat a bagel.
6) Make a list of things to do while on sub.
7) Consider actually doing things on said list.
8) Decide your time is best spent eating another bagel.
9) Eat said bagel.
10) Hang up every rejection letter you've ever gotten on the wall.
11) Decide that's too depressing and go back to the trampoline scheme.
12) Become an astronaught.
13) BLOW UP THE MOON.
14) Eat another bagel.
16) BLOW UP THE MOON AGAIN.
17) KILL THAT SUCKA WITH AN AK-47 TO MAKE SURE IT IS TEH DEAD.
19) Make more pointless lists.
20) Eat another bagel.
21) Assasinate Charlie Sheen.
22) Blame the assasination on the dog.
23) Get a dog to blame the assasionation on.
24) Eat another bagel.
25) Check email. EVERY. FIVE. SECONDS. AND IF YOU MISS ONE THEN YOUR HOUSE WILL EXPODE.
26) Buy more bagels.